moving on

it's so unfair but nevermind. good to know that u're doing good and someone's around you.

it's good and i'm happy for that. happy cos i love u. will love u always.

im moving on. there must be someone else who can save me on this,kan? i gve up on love, on life, family, on everything. i wish there's someone.

sometime it lasts in luv but sometimes it hurts instead :)

aku redha dan dengan terbuka hatinya i let u go.

don't forget us. i love u soleil.

goodbye.

-

people survive wars. people survive disasters. people survive pain. people survive sadness. people survive hurt. people survive people. so why wouldnt i, one of the people, survive this?

:)

hi. as ive told you, im missing you oredi now.

and i want you to keep this email.

1. i wont waste you. but there are times yg hang makan hati. thats part of the parcel of this relationship. but this wont be forever.

2. i love you and i still do think that i will marry you someday. maybe this sounds 'tettttt', but if i pray then this is part of my prayers. niat aku baik. God will help me. thats my faith.

3, you may have flaws, but generally and on normal days, you are the best girl ive ever met.

4. it may look easy, but if i let you go then it is the hardest thing. im good at hiding. thats why you dont notice many things. i really hope this wont happen.

5. sorry that not all the things go according to the plan. i dont control all things. but i think when i make promise i will do it someday. maybe on time, maybe a little late, maybe late. but ill do things i say.

again

i keep myself busy with things to do, but everytime i pause i still think of you.

and im here, again.


*feeling better now*

-

it hurts missing someone that u knw are happy with someone else. it hurts to say gudbye to the person u almost gave ur life to. knowing that life wont be the same without them. but its better to give up the feeling. rather than to knw ur the only one fighting

it hurts so bad.

Good nite.

10 days

my attitude will always be based on how people treat me.
maybe am not gd enuff for u but i knw ill always be the best for the one who deserve me.

lovebird

After almost 10 minutes staring at this computer screen, I finally decided to write nothing. I think it would be better if I just keep all these thoughts in my mind.

Hey Star

How long would you shine for me? How can I keep you shining during the day, everyday?

Goodnight star.light me up I'm scared of the dark.

Roses

No guy had ever bought me flowers :) you made me so happy, knowing that someone love me that much and of course how much I loved you back.

I am your honey+nightmare+love+poison for the eternity.

"i miss your skin

i miss your mesmerizing eyes

i miss the way you kiss my fingers, each and every.

i miss the way you smell

i miss getting your misscalls and texts.

i miss how you make me feel like i have no problems around me when i am with you

i miss arguing over certain contradictory points

i miss your strength and patience

i miss how you remind me i am pretty when i feel i am not

i miss your comfort

i miss the way i feel safe with you

i miss your breath on my neck and ear

i miss lying next to you, looking at you, silent.

i miss the shine in your eyes

i miss the way you tell me i will be a good wife for you because of the way i treat you

i miss listening to your voice when you tell me you love me

i miss your love and how time stops when i am with you

i miss saying 'I miss you' knowing i wud be seeing you in the next few hours"

Im gonna miss you and your everything.

I wish there's no Saturday for the whole July.. it hurts me.

....

Miracle.

Discovering a new kind of feeling, like how I used to feel before..and it does feel good.

Miracle? You, and me. :)

You inspire me to write here again :)

Ok

Mungkin ada dua karektor dalam diri ini.

(Sebenarnya, lebih. Tapi biar aku singkatkan.)

Okay. Ada dua karektor.

Satu baik, satu tidak.

Satu yang jujur, satu lagi yang penipu.

Satu matang, satu lagi haram tak.

Satu terlalu riang. Satu lagi, tidak.

Satu konon positif, satu lagi jauh tenggelam ke laut.

You know the drill.

The "Ying VS Yang" thingy, kononnya.

Tapi, untuk hang.. Aku sentiasa nak jadi yang paling baik.

Bukan Tettttt ok.

Mengantuk dah.

Sayang. sangat.

end

I never stopped loving you, i just stopped showing it.

HelloApril

April, please be nice to me. byebye march. u were wonderful. till we meet again next year :')

Mr wow,

Im missing u. I miss watching when u were talking. I miss your face. I miss your hands. I miss our talks in my room.

I love you. I love us. Forever.

Soleil

It was not a painful feeling but it hurt. And it hurts, still.

9/3/2011

he was not my first love, bare in mind. And I, at my expense, wished he would be the last.

We shall never forget those who made us feel, betul kan?

Bila difikir balik, the worst crime I ever committed was; I let myself fall in love with him.

5.07am

need u now - lady antebellum

you're still my bestfriend.

I let my love go unexpressed.

Pray for a little happiness .

God, give me strength..

.

if u asked me how many times you've crossed my mind, id say once. because u never really left.

the fact is

the only thing harder than letting go

is moving on.

We are over

you said.

It might be a small thing you.

I guess I just have to accept that I’ll always be a little in love with you …. and it’s ok…

Welcome Love :)

Hopefully we can make it this time.

I love you, loverboy.

27/1/11

what am i doing now?

i still have no clue. what im suppose to do.

---

nothing hurts more than waiting since i dont even know what im waiting for anymore.

I miss the way we were back then

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."

I miss all those Kahlil Gibran thingy :)

I miss the time we spent together

I miss the way u used to hold me, the way u ran your fingers through my hair.

I miss the the way u told me u loved, the way it made me feel.

I miss receiving ur text after u sent me home, telling me that u miss me oredi :)

I miss how it made me feel when u said i was your favourite.

I miss the way we looked into each others eyes (even in mamak) as if the world had stopped and we were the only ones left on it. :P

I miss the way things used to be.

Its Tuesday. 5.28am.

Hello soleil..

I love u. I do love u so much. I love u more than anything in this world. Swear to god, i love u with all my heart.

I think i should let u go, but i dont know how. I dont know if i could let u go.

why still i take the risk when i already know whats the ending like..?

17 01 2011

Perasaan paling best tapi dalam masa yang sama sayu, ialah 17 januari 4.20pm.

Masa tu kat bilik bedah, the first person yang aku nampak dan aku senyum dan lambai lambai sambil terbaring ialah Mr soleil :)

He smiled at me and lambai-lambai :)

*lepas tu aku dah stone sampai wad*

Hey sayang, thanks for being with me all this while.

Kita gelak sama-sama, kita sembang macam macam, kita nangis, kita gaduh, kita cinta cinta, kita rindu rindu, kita gaduh lagi, gaduh lagi gaduh gaduh, sayang balik.. macam macam lah, dan akhirnya..

kita dah sampai tahap ni. Hari terakhir kesusahan dan permulaan satu hidup yang lain.

:) Terima kasih sayang, cinta.

sometimes

I feel empty and numb, like part of me has gone missing. It's been 7days, i'm missing something in me, im missing her i guess.

Hello its sunday!

You're so far away from me :(

I remember once, the first time we're far from each other. raya kot. Rindu sangat. Rasa rindu jauh ni lain,
hang cakap.

"aku lalu hiway nampak rumah hang, rindu :("
"tadi naik lift(masa nak amik kain pelekat) ada amoi bau perfume, exactly smell like u..rindu:("

Do u still feel the same now?

because i do.

I do miss you. I miss the old you. I missed all those feelings. Aku rindu hang bagitau aku hang rindu n sayang aku. text or call.

Rindu la.Tahu tak?

:)

.

Hi,

I know things are not going well for u now, ur mood not okay. But I hope u be strong k? Just few days more and by next month u should be fine. Kau dah tempuh the past few months and not its the last month for u. Its ur last hurdle.

I am always with u. So if any I am all ears and ready to support u. I just want u to go thru this as smooth as we could and ur life be back to good afterwards.

I understand the pain and frustration ur going thru, but its just a bit more. Sikit je lagi so be patience n be strong k.

Yourself,
Sarah.

...

Ive got nowhere to run to.
nowhere to go.